”A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman “Which book has helped you most in your life?”The woman replied, “My husband’s check book”“Political Correctness is just fascism pretending to be manners”—George CarlinMary Poppins, you’re under arrest for Supercallifragilisticsextrafficking.“And with that kiss, Sleeping Beauty woke up at last and immediately reached for the pepper spray.”“Hello, Suicide Hotline? It’s Eeyore again...”He was put into the CAT scanner. Unfortunately, the cat was still in it.After months of tests, doctors finally found what had caused his blindness. He’d been masturbating too much.Was my French teacher into golden showers? Oui!DVD: Welcome to Filthy, Dirty Nurses2 – The Rise of MRSA.Look! It’s the family with 11 fingers and 12 toes. It’s the Inbredables!Harry Potter. I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that I’m pregnant. The good news is that I learned the aborto spell.I’m 96, but I’m convinced that young women are attracted to. If I made $60000 profit she would receive $30000 as her share. If she took straight alimony she would only get about $18000. To her and her attorney this was a no brainer. We split our little savings and I gave her the equity in the house to protect my small IRA. She received half of the business.SIX MONTHS LATERMy divorce is finally over. I have moved to a small one-bedroom apartment near my office. I only took a minimum of furniture from our home and Paula made me pay for that since I supposedly gave her the house and furnishings in the settlement.I sigh and lean my elbows on my desk. I think, now, let's move forward with the plan. I lean back in my chair and feel a diabolic smile cross my face. I laugh as I think of that dumb attorney my wife hired. Unfortunately for the cheating bitch neither she nor her attorney thought of what I had planned. What if I no longer had this business? Half of nothing is nothing isn't it?I continued to operate the business the rest of the year but I.
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